Quintissimo
06-23-2001, 06:48 AM
Ak' Anon (AP) -- In what some call "the greatest rat, spiderling, and decaying gnome skeleton slaughter ever", hordes of wandering monsters were discovered not only to have been slain near the druid ring in the Steamfont Mountains, but stripped of anything and everything valuable. The death toll was reported to be in the hundreds as the countryside near this out-of-the way center of druidic transportation was virtually barren of all life. The only sign of inhabitance was the local kobold hovel, where the kobolds there were reported to be "shaken up, but worried about their runty young'uns."
No word yet has been released to the press on who may have been responsible for such wholesale carnage, though the local Gemchopper authorities have a suspect they are currently searching for. Watchman Halv, a local guardsman for the area, added this comment:
"Welp, there I was keepin' an eye on things near the Mines, when all the sudden this horde of spiders rises over the crest yonder. I figure it's another young one runnin' for their lives from the critters over there... but no. The critters are running from some crazy gnome in a yellow robe. And there's this... thing... with him. The gnome kept callin' him 'Kabober'. He'd shout, 'GET 'EM KABOBER -- FILLET DEMANDS JUSTICE. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. ARARARAHHHHAGGAHH.' Beats the heck outta me who this 'Fillet' person was the gnome was screamin' about... but that Kabober thing. I'll never forget it. Nosiree."
The local Gemchopper authorities ask that any and all information regarding one "Kabober", or one "Fillet" should be reported to them in Ak' Anon with all due haste.
No word yet has been released to the press on who may have been responsible for such wholesale carnage, though the local Gemchopper authorities have a suspect they are currently searching for. Watchman Halv, a local guardsman for the area, added this comment:
"Welp, there I was keepin' an eye on things near the Mines, when all the sudden this horde of spiders rises over the crest yonder. I figure it's another young one runnin' for their lives from the critters over there... but no. The critters are running from some crazy gnome in a yellow robe. And there's this... thing... with him. The gnome kept callin' him 'Kabober'. He'd shout, 'GET 'EM KABOBER -- FILLET DEMANDS JUSTICE. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. ARARARAHHHHAGGAHH.' Beats the heck outta me who this 'Fillet' person was the gnome was screamin' about... but that Kabober thing. I'll never forget it. Nosiree."
The local Gemchopper authorities ask that any and all information regarding one "Kabober", or one "Fillet" should be reported to them in Ak' Anon with all due haste.