Forty
11-03-2004, 08:39 PM
Sam and Edith
Sam and Edith were 85 years old, and had been
married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to
get by because they
watched their pennies. Though not young, they were
both in very good health,
largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy
foods and exercise for the
last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they
went on a rare vacation
and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and there an escort
was waiting to show them
inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion,
furnished in gold and fine
silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall
in the master bath. And their favorite clothes hanging in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment
when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your
home now."
Sam asked how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," their
companion replied, "remember, this is your reward in
Heaven."
Sam looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf
course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built
on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," the
companion replied. "You can play for free,
everyday."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish
buffet lunch, with
every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from
seafood to steaks to
exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even
ask," said their
companion to Sam. "This is Heaven, it is all free
for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at
Edith. "Well, where are
the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the
decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
That's the best part," the companion replied. "You
can eat and drink as much
as you like of whatever you like, and you will never
get fat or sick. This
is Heaven!"
Sam pushed, "No gym to work out at?" "Not unless
you want to," was the
answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure
or..." "Never again. All you
do here is enjoy yourself."
Sam glared at Edith and said, "You and your
f*cking bran muffins. We could
have been here 15 years ago!"
Sam and Edith were 85 years old, and had been
married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to
get by because they
watched their pennies. Though not young, they were
both in very good health,
largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy
foods and exercise for the
last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they
went on a rare vacation
and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and there an escort
was waiting to show them
inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion,
furnished in gold and fine
silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall
in the master bath. And their favorite clothes hanging in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment
when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your
home now."
Sam asked how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," their
companion replied, "remember, this is your reward in
Heaven."
Sam looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf
course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built
on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," the
companion replied. "You can play for free,
everyday."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish
buffet lunch, with
every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from
seafood to steaks to
exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even
ask," said their
companion to Sam. "This is Heaven, it is all free
for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at
Edith. "Well, where are
the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the
decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
That's the best part," the companion replied. "You
can eat and drink as much
as you like of whatever you like, and you will never
get fat or sick. This
is Heaven!"
Sam pushed, "No gym to work out at?" "Not unless
you want to," was the
answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure
or..." "Never again. All you
do here is enjoy yourself."
Sam glared at Edith and said, "You and your
f*cking bran muffins. We could
have been here 15 years ago!"