View Full Version : Hehehe
Tilea
12-12-2001, 10:16 AM
I had a friend email this to me today and thought it was worth sharing, especially for my fellow Canadians :)
So, what do Canadians have to be proud of?
1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch & Coffee Crisp
3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass
10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the
Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it... and most
of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane
and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came
home and partied ... Go figure...
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to
Germany.
13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered
or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.
14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American
mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing...but showed up just
in time to get caught.
16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's
surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company
18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human
in under 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk.
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin,
penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save
countless lives each year
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to
tell about it.
23. MOST IMPORTANT! ....the handles on our beer cases are big enough
to fit your hands with mitts on.
OOOOoohhhhh Canada!!
Oh yeah... and our elections only take one day.
Oh and if anyone got offended by any of that, take a chill pill ;)
Celene Dion cancells all of that out.
Tilea
12-12-2001, 10:22 AM
Any true Canadian denies that Celine Dion is a Canadian. She's an illegal alien, I believe.
I can deny that Pauly Shore is American all I want, but it doesn't make it true! :)
Dharrk
12-12-2001, 11:18 AM
You failed to mention Terence and Phillip are Canadien
Amberel
12-12-2001, 12:07 PM
Lola! You didn't know that Celine Dion was an illegal alien???
Born in Charlemagne (a small town 30 miles east of Montreal, Quebec, Canada), Céline is the youngest of 14 children of a highly musical family...
Nmok Soulblighter
12-12-2001, 01:19 PM
Canada is also responsible for Bryan Adams, I rest my case.
Eomer
12-12-2001, 01:50 PM
Anyone from Quebec doesn't really count as a canadian IMO. I mean fuck, they don't even WANT to be part of Canada, idiots go for referendum every 10 years.
*this was meant in jest, if you are a frenchie!* (I am from a french background)
Celine and Bryan, bah. I have the real nail in Canada's coffin.
William Shatner
'nuff said.
Drakky
12-12-2001, 03:13 PM
I am Canadian. There's another thing to add to that list! owned :|
Eomer
12-12-2001, 04:43 PM
WILLIAM SHATNER FUCKING OWNS
I mean come on, original Star Trek would have been nothing w/o him, he is the master of hoaky acting
Guntak
12-12-2001, 08:20 PM
CanadiEn
Tarissa
12-12-2001, 09:40 PM
i don't know man, your bacon sort of sucks?
Eomer
12-12-2001, 10:19 PM
That's one thing I have never understood btw... from what I have heard, what you yanks call "canadian bacon" is simply called back bacon here, and yea, it sucks.
Barlo
12-12-2001, 11:40 PM
They could have had American Technology, French cooking and British culture.
Instead, they ended up with French Technology, British cooking and American culture.
:p
Medion
12-13-2001, 06:43 AM
Isn't canadiEn bacon just taylor ham? :eek:
Mulrine
12-14-2001, 09:33 AM
Canada has no army! damn canuks and basketball was created in southern USA they cut a hole in a peach basket and started to play it liek that! Indeed "canadian" bacon is just ham damn the canuks especially Eomer
ahahaha Barlo, I'll have to remember that one.
Eomer
12-14-2001, 12:56 PM
Yea Mulmul, not spending tirllions on advanced weapons to more efficiently kill people and strongarm our foreign policy upon others is really something to be ashamed of :rolleyes:
Tilea
12-14-2001, 01:01 PM
Let's not make another canada vs america thing out of this guys, I posted it just to share a joke :)
Hmm I've always seen Canada vs America as harmless - two brothers constantly teasing each other.
There are times when I've definitely wished I lived in Canada myself.
Eomer
12-14-2001, 01:38 PM
Otay! Let's make fun of The Centre Of The Universe then! DOWN WITH ONTARIO
Tilea
12-14-2001, 01:52 PM
Yeah Lola it is harmless but in my experience that conversation always ends up getting defensive :)
Amberel
12-14-2001, 02:12 PM
ROFL Eomer
Canadians have weird names.
*coughamb*
Buazag Bonesteel
12-14-2001, 03:13 PM
Canada has a place called "The beer store"
nuff said ;)
Eomer
12-14-2001, 03:59 PM
Buazag, up until the early 90's in Alberta, the only places that could sell most liquor (except for bars of course, and I think wine and spirits were an exception, not sure, I was like 12 when they changed it) were run by the gov't. It was hard as hell to find a place that sold cold beer, and liquor stores were few and far between. They privatized that here, but liquor stores have to be in their own separate establishments. For example, if Safeway wanted to sell alcohol, they would have to build a separate building across the parking lot from their main store.
In a lot of ways though, I think that it is actually good that way. For one thing it makes it easier for the little mom and pop stores to compete, as large grocery stores would hammer them in price. And also, I think that it's strange that some little 12 year old can walk into a grocery store and walk done the isle's with all the different booze and advertisements, and possibly be negatively unfluenced by it.
*edit*
Forgot to mention, I believe that there are still some provinces where liquor is still only sold my government owned stores, but I am not totally sure. Since BC is a communist state, I would assume that it works that way there, but I could be wrong.
Amberel
12-14-2001, 04:53 PM
FU EOMER
no, they're not all govn't owned stores in BC =p
Btw I also agree that I find it strange that alcohol is sold in convenience and grocery stores here in the States. It's been almost a year since I moved here, but I still feel startled every time I walk past the liquor section in the grocery store.
Drakky
12-14-2001, 06:19 PM
lala our ice tea owns the states' too
Belle
12-14-2001, 07:04 PM
Mmmm....tea in Canada and Britain rules, hot or iced. :) You also have a type of Knorr soup I got hooked on in France that we can't get here in the States.
But, ya know - that Ann Murray thing... :P
Belle
Buazag Bonesteel
12-14-2001, 08:02 PM
We can buy knorr soup at Wegmans. I make my own Iced tea. Damnit....I want a Beer store though :(
Eomer
12-15-2001, 12:06 AM
There is no sense denying it Amb, BC is essentially a socialist province in a lot of respects, although it is changing now that there is a mass exodus to Alberta going on (30% of the people we have hired over the past year are from BC, because there is NO work there) because the place is basically bankrupt. I mean fuck, unionized KFCs?
Amberel
12-15-2001, 12:54 AM
fucking NDP =\
Eomer
12-15-2001, 09:22 AM
yea, pinko commies :/
Maelikki
12-16-2001, 10:15 AM
knorr soup OMG
that explains y those canadians are so weird
i wouldnt even dare give knorr soup to a dog for fear of killing him :/
Eomer
12-16-2001, 10:52 AM
what is knorr soup?
Belle
12-16-2001, 11:03 PM
Knorr soup is made by a Dutch/British company. They make all kinds of dried soup mixes - good quality too. Also bouillon and various sauce mixes. There's one called 7 légumes (or 9 légumes, can't remember) that I've seen in France and Québec, but nowhere here in the States. I e-mailed the company (yes, I know, I'm pathetic) but they never responded. hehe
For those truly bored, you can go to www.knorr.com and read up on their products. ;-)
Tilea
12-17-2001, 10:14 AM
What kind of weird stuff do yuo guys have going on over in BC? KFC's with a union? :\ Come over to Ontario where it's nice and normal!
Canadians fighting Candians...
Anyone else instantly picture batallions of mounties with different colored surcoats riding at each other across a field, wielding slabs of frozen bacon astride their moose?!
Hihi Eomer ^_^
Eomer
12-17-2001, 03:30 PM
At least I don't talk like a ninja turtle! fuku rezz!
And when they make you an officer? Jebus, what a mistake.
Chance
12-17-2001, 03:49 PM
Ok...I've got to ask...
WTF is Mr. Dress-up?
Tilea
12-18-2001, 08:05 AM
I've lived in Canada my whole life and only ever saw a mountie once :)
Dudley Doo-right is my idol.
Eomer
12-18-2001, 09:21 AM
Uh Tilea, you mean them in full dress? Any rcmp officer is technically a mountie, and I see all the time...
Tilea
12-18-2001, 09:24 AM
Yes in full dress, as in the red puffed out pants, riding a horse ;)
Lemin
01-07-2002, 06:51 AM
Ontario owns! Where abouts in Ontario are you Tilea?
Leojo
01-22-2002, 09:40 AM
Isn't pot legal in British Colombia?
I dunno about this whole Ontario owns thing... ; ) I live in Southeastern Michigan, near the Canada/US border, about 20 minutes from Windsor/The Ambassador Bridge. I swear, you Canadiens can't drive! A lot of peeps from Ontario come over to Michigan to shop and what not, and I swear, every time I look, there's a Canadien driving bad. :D They firmly disregard speed limits and keep their speed at roughly 8 mph on all roads. I dunno, maybe it's a metric thing.
jk, lub you Tilea :D
Leojo - Dorf - Vindication
Eomer
01-22-2002, 10:17 AM
You want to see a bad driver? Watch an American (or actually most Canadians, only a few cities still have them) go around a traffic circle. About two blocks away they will see it coming, and slam on their brakes. I can just hear them saying "what the hell is that ahead?". It's funny as hell.
As far as Pot being legal in BC, that is a myth. For medicinal purposes, yes, pot is basically legal throughout Canada. People who prove medical need can possess and grow their own pot. The silly thing is that the government is not yet supplying it to people, and the laws DON'T protect someone selling pot to someone who needs it. That said, the government is currently growing a whole whack of pot in some old mine somewhere, for tests and to supply people with.
As for recreational use, while it is not legal, there is a lot of debate going on, and it looks like a lot of provinces may well end up decriminalizing it soon. That doesn't make it legal however, but what it will do is instead of having a criminal charge if you are caught with it, you will simply receive a fine for it. Police themselves want this change, as they really couldn't care less if people are stoned, and it wastes their time. Ask any Cop who they would most prefer to arrest, if it was between someone on Speed, a drunk, and someone just stoned on pot.
But, even though pot isn't legal in any provinces, I can speak from personal experience that for the most part, people don't care. If a Cop sees you smoking a J, at most he will make you put it out, and maybe make you empty your pockets and then send you on your merry way. I have heard that there are several Cannabis Cafe's (basically a coffee shop where they tolerate you smoking pot, you can't actually buy it from the counter, although I am sure dealers hang out there) in Vancouver, but I am not really sure. One was opened in Edmonton, but had a number of fines slapped on it, and I believe they closed it down.
It's only a matter of time before pot is made legal for recreational use here, it just might take 10 or 20 years for views to change enough. Personally, I would prefer my money going to huge taxes (a la alcohol and tobacco) to the government, than to some little Vietnamese guy driving a Lexus.
Interesting stat: apparently the pot industry in BC is valued upwards of 10 billion now (they export HUGE amounts to the states, as well as to other parts of Canada. Alberta is also gaining a reputation for growing pot), and that figure is bigger than mining, forrestry, or fishing in BC. It's basically one of the biggest industries there right now.
Amberel
01-22-2002, 10:36 AM
yes, there are still cannabis cafe's in Vancouver =D
Leojo
01-22-2002, 10:48 AM
Wow, nice infoz. Thanks for that Eomer, was quite interesting. ;)
Tilea
01-22-2002, 01:21 PM
I lub you too, Leo :)
APARATUS
01-23-2002, 10:33 AM
Good ol' Canada.
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