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Peotr
11-09-2011, 02:39 PM
Back in town.

It's starting to get cold in Orofino. No snow yet, but cold. The deer are bedding down in town, they like the parks, the churches and the big lawn of the abandoned Junior High (which is, ironically, right across the street from the Feed Store, which is another place where the deer like to hang out.) There is a tennis court behind the Junior High, and today there were a couple of guys in knit caps and heavy sweats playing a vigorous game while half a dozen deer watched from the lawn.

I've been spending most of my time watching television. My father had (has) a cold, and his coughing created this dog-sized bruise under his right arm. He's taking Warfarin so the bruising is sort of expected, but it was still startling to see. The bruise was so big the doctors had to be sure that all the plumbing was still plumb, and that lead to the discovery of another arrythmia in his heart, and then my dad got pneumonia before they could operate, and so I've been spending a lot of time in a motel room in Spokane.

Since they limit my access to my dad I watch television. I've discovered Househunters (will they choose Home #1 with the lovely view, or Home #2 with better access to local schools? Who gives a fuck!) In my brain I have been imagining a show I call 'Cribhunters', where people search for low-income housing, but the idea is embarrassingly racist ("Bitch, I am not doin' stairs!") In my mind I've tried to add rednecks who are looking at trailers, but the joy just isn't there. That did spawn another idea of a demotivational poster where I photoshopped the aerial view of a trailer park so it looked like a target, but I haven't found the right aerial photo yet, and I have the suspicion it's already been done.

Today I'm home, hopefully for the rest of the week. I'm dogsitting Kobe, the blond rodent-dog who can't shit in his own backyard. We walked today, and Kobe decided to take a huge, nasty crap behind the police station just as a cop was getting into his car. So I had to scoop up that prize, and carry it around until I could find a trash can.

In keeping with my wildlife theme I snapped this shot of the ducks at the park.

http://www.bagofmice.com/stuff/ducks.png

The photo was hard to take, not because the ducks were skittish, but because I needed both hands to steady the camera on my phone, and one of my hands is holding the above-mentioned bag of nasty dogshit, which I kept banging into my face.

The photo was taken on the walkway around the ballfield, with my back to the Clearwater river. To the right, offscreen, is the area where they do the lumberjack competitions, and there is a birling pond that the ducks like (start typing 'lumberjack' into Google and auto-suggest will probably bring up Orofino). The birds also like the park because dogs aren't allowed on the grounds. It's a huge fine, like $200.00. They keep the dogs out because the soccer and baseball players don't like to slide through dogshit. Duckshit and deershit is fine, though.

These are wild ducks - we get a lot of Gadwalls and Canadian Geese, and sometimes Mallards. There used to be some geese and swans in the park, but to prevent the possible spread of bird flu they were evicted, and now it is difficult to get a license to bring domestic ducks into the county ('cause it's, like, hard to prevent the wild ducks from coming into the county, no matter how much we hunt them).

Last night Kobe and I walked Michigan avenue, and I walked past our family's first home, a small postwar ranch house with huge picture windows. The house has been converted into a beauty salon, and there is a flourescent pink hand-printed sign on the window of what used to be our living room that says, "Want to try a facial?"

Zeyla
11-09-2011, 03:47 PM
I hope your Dad is doing better! And, as always, it is great to read your writing. You should write for Cracked.com or something, I'm serious!

Syana
11-09-2011, 05:23 PM
tldr, pee oh turd, don't fuck the ducks k? k

Peotr
11-09-2011, 05:49 PM
tldr, pee oh turd, don't fuck the ducks k? k

As I have stated before, I have never had sex with non-consenting animals.

Peeotr

P.S. I mean, really, ducks just don't have enough mass to push back.

Aindayen
11-13-2011, 06:56 AM
dog shit banging me in the face LMAO.

I hope your father is doing better Peotr. I don't mind the cold but it seems so pointless unless snow is around. Do you hunt at all?

Beelzebubs
11-14-2011, 02:20 AM
Pooter how I miss your sexy ass.

Maegwin
11-14-2011, 01:05 PM
Why didn't you temporarily put down the bag of dogshit so you could take the picture?

Loniel Bonewalker
11-14-2011, 02:36 PM
Why didn't you temporarily put down the bag of dogshit so you could take the picture?

This

Forty
11-14-2011, 04:29 PM
Why didn't you temporarily put down the bag of dogshit so you could take the picture?

This is likehaving the teenage couple NOT to go into the haunted house to have sex....without it, the show kinda just ends.

Maegwin
11-15-2011, 07:36 AM
This is likehaving the teenage couple NOT to go into the haunted house to have sex....without it, the show kinda just ends.

hahaha

Zeyla
11-15-2011, 09:57 AM
Ah hah hah, Forty. Good one my man :)

Loniel Bonewalker
11-15-2011, 01:12 PM
This is likehaving the teenage couple NOT to go into the haunted house to have sex....without it, the show kinda just ends.

LOL! Yea I was thinking along the same lines. It is like the big chested dumb blonde chick who is being chased, but runs up the stairs instead of out the front door.