Lronius de la Mancha
09-13-2001, 10:37 PM
1) Let them pull the monsters and then try to get them off before they’re hit a second time.
2) Use all your “block” and “protect” skills on Desjardins the Huntress who pulls in the monsters because she’s cuter.
3) Send half the group back to shop while the trolls take on a few “easy” reds.
4) All die in a large heap leaving the healer to try to kill the purple who has just a tiny sliver of life left in him.
5) Have her stand back a safe distance from the group and then discover that you’ve suggested a spot where the giant spawns.
6) Ask them to come resurrect your little group in an area that’s a bit dangerous for them but tell them “don’t worry, with these directions you’ll be totally safe”
7) Leave Vapor the Troll to guard them.
8) Get them lost.
9) Pull a bright red mob that’s linked to two friends (comfort them by draping your dead body over theirs in a friendly way)
10) Pull a group of 4 but only target 3 with your tanks.
11) All die on your way back to your graves giving your healer an aneurysm from his frustration.
12) Let nessie eat him just for fun.
13) Go hunting blues for a change because it makes the healer happy. Pull a group of 6 and get each tank to target 2 in a nice orderly way. As you’re killing the 3rd have the orange Named monster spawn on top of you with his escorts.
14) Take him hunting for good items off named mobs, cut them down to size and then let the healer have the “killing” blow.
15) Miss 11 times in a row. Dang those purples can be hard to hit.
16) All die in a large pile on the edge of a lethal swarm where the only access is a bridge. Have a giant wander under the bridge while she resurrects Desirae. I personally blame this on one Desirae, if she hadn’t died so far out in the middle...
17) An old trick: be the only survivor of yet another massacre and lead a ‘borrowed’ healer out to your nifty new grave yard, inadvertently picking up a short train of monster friends along the way. If timed in a particularly boneheaded way you can catch another team member sitting there newly resurrected leaving all three of you blue. Try to include Rassoh when you do that. He has too much exp anyway.
18) Let Talon into the group, then let him pull even once. Man’s eyes are bigger ‘n his stomach.
19) Keep Talon out of the group but let him give you advice.
20) Go adventuring with Talon’s group when he isn’t even on the server. Damn he’s good.
21) Take a short break, feed healer pies out of Nemesis’ backpack while he snoozes, watch healer explode from too much pie.
22) Take healer out healing after he’s been drinking for several hours and just got home.
23) Take healer out healing after you’ve been drinking for several hours and just got home.
24) Follow trolls advice: run in circles for entire battle to confuse the enemy.
25) Forget to advise healer to NEVER heal before the monster is half dead, run if we start dying but never heal.
26) Forget to warn healer that when Desjardins gets tired of pulling or runs out of arrows, Vapor the troll tends to do his “Fat Man Pull” ™ and bring in double the normal monster count just when you think it’s perhaps time to rest. All survive the battle but find healer dead of heart failure.
27) Forget to warn healer that when Desjardins does pull, she tends to bring a steady stream of bad-guys and sometimes they get piled up. “I try to get the new one there just as the old dies…I don’t mean to get ahead and find that you’re still fighting 2 just as I come swooping in with a 3rd” she explains after we revive her. I think I forgot to mention that we kill our huntress a lot too. Sorry Des.
28) Take the healer into RvR explaining “you’ll be safe with us”
29) Stand new healer next to shaman, let healer emulate shaman by jumping into battle.
30) Raid the werewolf town and get swarmed from all sides, afterwards when doing the headcount notice that one is missing…look for it and discover the wolves kicking it about. Apologize and buy healer new head.
31) Take healer on a “new” shortcut that you haven’t tried before without your skald. Discover that new shortcut is actually Skona ravine. Find that monsters are faster than you.
32) Take healer on another “new” shortcut with Desirae the Skald so you can escape if you’ve found a new Skona. Discover that some spell casting monsters have a REALLY long range.
33) Let Kevasir offer to run your now nervous new healer back to town to train. Fail to yell “STOP” in time as he piles into a fairly innocent looking mass of green monsters. Watch monsters replace innocent looks with teeth.
34) Clean out the afore mentioned green monsters so the healer can get back to his grave but forget how fast they repopulate.
35) Let the healer try a “fat man pull” because he thinks it funny to watch when the Troll does it.
36) Trolls have ‘nother good idea: Tank for a day contest. Healer wins.
37) Go hunting in an area where Raasoh and Saber say we can get great new stuff and max out our exp. Find that these “red” monsters are way brighter red than normal and no one can hit them. Wonder to yourself (while looking at 8 dead bodies) why there isn’t a color higher than purple…maybe black for “not even 8 of you have a prayer but go ahead anyway you morons.”
38) Advise healer on good location to solo and catch up on healing.
39) Convince healer that swimming is the only way to travel on such a lovely moonlit Midgard night, introduce whole group to Nessie again.
40) Introduce healer to Greencheeks the lady loot troll and let him escort her out on one of her Loot runs where she joins a group way over her levels and picks up their spare stuff. Let him find out the hard way that Loot Trolls consider dying a quick ride home.
41) Take healer hunting bear shamen and stand in the middle of their tents while they spawn, explain over the ruckus that “pulling here is such a waste of time”
42) Help newbie healer find some nice neutral monsters to solo that wont attack him so he can take them on one at a time, fail to mention that monsters learn to dislike you after a while.
43) Introduce healer to a lower level party saying “go with them ‘cause you won’t be safe with us” and then suggest they might enjoy fighting Moras. Remember too late to warn them to stay away from that camp in the woods.
44) Suggest to healer that, while they’re too low to group with you and get exp that they can “fight nearby” and “leach” by hitting some of your monsters. It will be a good way for you to make up for those times we killed you. Forget that you can’t guard, block or easily see that they’re dying.
45) Have Desjardins convince him that now that he’s leveled and bought new stuff he’ll be safe with you. Really!
46) Have anal-retentive dwarf healer pelting about the battlefield picking up spare “loot” and dropping it off near trees out of the way (we should really get her a broom) and never mention to her that monsters don’t yet collide with those trees…
47) Have same dwarf die of aggrivation when she returns back to same area and finds that you’ve cluttered it again.
48) Run out of pie and feed healer to Nemesis the troll.
For those of us who have healed, will find this rather amusing.
2) Use all your “block” and “protect” skills on Desjardins the Huntress who pulls in the monsters because she’s cuter.
3) Send half the group back to shop while the trolls take on a few “easy” reds.
4) All die in a large heap leaving the healer to try to kill the purple who has just a tiny sliver of life left in him.
5) Have her stand back a safe distance from the group and then discover that you’ve suggested a spot where the giant spawns.
6) Ask them to come resurrect your little group in an area that’s a bit dangerous for them but tell them “don’t worry, with these directions you’ll be totally safe”
7) Leave Vapor the Troll to guard them.
8) Get them lost.
9) Pull a bright red mob that’s linked to two friends (comfort them by draping your dead body over theirs in a friendly way)
10) Pull a group of 4 but only target 3 with your tanks.
11) All die on your way back to your graves giving your healer an aneurysm from his frustration.
12) Let nessie eat him just for fun.
13) Go hunting blues for a change because it makes the healer happy. Pull a group of 6 and get each tank to target 2 in a nice orderly way. As you’re killing the 3rd have the orange Named monster spawn on top of you with his escorts.
14) Take him hunting for good items off named mobs, cut them down to size and then let the healer have the “killing” blow.
15) Miss 11 times in a row. Dang those purples can be hard to hit.
16) All die in a large pile on the edge of a lethal swarm where the only access is a bridge. Have a giant wander under the bridge while she resurrects Desirae. I personally blame this on one Desirae, if she hadn’t died so far out in the middle...
17) An old trick: be the only survivor of yet another massacre and lead a ‘borrowed’ healer out to your nifty new grave yard, inadvertently picking up a short train of monster friends along the way. If timed in a particularly boneheaded way you can catch another team member sitting there newly resurrected leaving all three of you blue. Try to include Rassoh when you do that. He has too much exp anyway.
18) Let Talon into the group, then let him pull even once. Man’s eyes are bigger ‘n his stomach.
19) Keep Talon out of the group but let him give you advice.
20) Go adventuring with Talon’s group when he isn’t even on the server. Damn he’s good.
21) Take a short break, feed healer pies out of Nemesis’ backpack while he snoozes, watch healer explode from too much pie.
22) Take healer out healing after he’s been drinking for several hours and just got home.
23) Take healer out healing after you’ve been drinking for several hours and just got home.
24) Follow trolls advice: run in circles for entire battle to confuse the enemy.
25) Forget to advise healer to NEVER heal before the monster is half dead, run if we start dying but never heal.
26) Forget to warn healer that when Desjardins gets tired of pulling or runs out of arrows, Vapor the troll tends to do his “Fat Man Pull” ™ and bring in double the normal monster count just when you think it’s perhaps time to rest. All survive the battle but find healer dead of heart failure.
27) Forget to warn healer that when Desjardins does pull, she tends to bring a steady stream of bad-guys and sometimes they get piled up. “I try to get the new one there just as the old dies…I don’t mean to get ahead and find that you’re still fighting 2 just as I come swooping in with a 3rd” she explains after we revive her. I think I forgot to mention that we kill our huntress a lot too. Sorry Des.
28) Take the healer into RvR explaining “you’ll be safe with us”
29) Stand new healer next to shaman, let healer emulate shaman by jumping into battle.
30) Raid the werewolf town and get swarmed from all sides, afterwards when doing the headcount notice that one is missing…look for it and discover the wolves kicking it about. Apologize and buy healer new head.
31) Take healer on a “new” shortcut that you haven’t tried before without your skald. Discover that new shortcut is actually Skona ravine. Find that monsters are faster than you.
32) Take healer on another “new” shortcut with Desirae the Skald so you can escape if you’ve found a new Skona. Discover that some spell casting monsters have a REALLY long range.
33) Let Kevasir offer to run your now nervous new healer back to town to train. Fail to yell “STOP” in time as he piles into a fairly innocent looking mass of green monsters. Watch monsters replace innocent looks with teeth.
34) Clean out the afore mentioned green monsters so the healer can get back to his grave but forget how fast they repopulate.
35) Let the healer try a “fat man pull” because he thinks it funny to watch when the Troll does it.
36) Trolls have ‘nother good idea: Tank for a day contest. Healer wins.
37) Go hunting in an area where Raasoh and Saber say we can get great new stuff and max out our exp. Find that these “red” monsters are way brighter red than normal and no one can hit them. Wonder to yourself (while looking at 8 dead bodies) why there isn’t a color higher than purple…maybe black for “not even 8 of you have a prayer but go ahead anyway you morons.”
38) Advise healer on good location to solo and catch up on healing.
39) Convince healer that swimming is the only way to travel on such a lovely moonlit Midgard night, introduce whole group to Nessie again.
40) Introduce healer to Greencheeks the lady loot troll and let him escort her out on one of her Loot runs where she joins a group way over her levels and picks up their spare stuff. Let him find out the hard way that Loot Trolls consider dying a quick ride home.
41) Take healer hunting bear shamen and stand in the middle of their tents while they spawn, explain over the ruckus that “pulling here is such a waste of time”
42) Help newbie healer find some nice neutral monsters to solo that wont attack him so he can take them on one at a time, fail to mention that monsters learn to dislike you after a while.
43) Introduce healer to a lower level party saying “go with them ‘cause you won’t be safe with us” and then suggest they might enjoy fighting Moras. Remember too late to warn them to stay away from that camp in the woods.
44) Suggest to healer that, while they’re too low to group with you and get exp that they can “fight nearby” and “leach” by hitting some of your monsters. It will be a good way for you to make up for those times we killed you. Forget that you can’t guard, block or easily see that they’re dying.
45) Have Desjardins convince him that now that he’s leveled and bought new stuff he’ll be safe with you. Really!
46) Have anal-retentive dwarf healer pelting about the battlefield picking up spare “loot” and dropping it off near trees out of the way (we should really get her a broom) and never mention to her that monsters don’t yet collide with those trees…
47) Have same dwarf die of aggrivation when she returns back to same area and finds that you’ve cluttered it again.
48) Run out of pie and feed healer to Nemesis the troll.
For those of us who have healed, will find this rather amusing.