Albion invaded by idiocy from within!
DISCLAIMER: This entire post is a joke (though a true story), there is nothing serious or RvR related to be found - if you don't want to fall out of your chair laughing, stop reading now.
Now that the servers are down, I'd like to share with all of you a little incident I went through this morning. This is a serious threat to the Albion faction! If this person has his way, he'll have the entire realm of Albion to himself, and we'll all be sitting around with banned accounts for having questioned his ownership and supremacy of everything which is Albion. :-o
As it begins, I'm traveling around the Salisbury Plains, until I come upon Stonehenge. I found the dungeon there, and having never gone in, decided to step inside and check out of it was a place I could solo - I zoned back out faster than I zoned in the first time, sprinted the entire way back to the bridge and hugged the nearest guard I could find. Needless to say, I am NOT going back to that place anytime soon. I decided I'd go back and hit Mithra for a little while, seeing as the server would be coming down for patching soon - on the way there, I passed by the demon castle. The majority of the demons were up, there was a guy off to the side engaging one of the gate guards, I decided to take a peek inside - demons all over, greys, greens, and blues - and then, Fielath. Mental flashback. Little Xanath, the level 7 running around looking for Mithra - I found the demon castle, and as I had no idea what to look for, assumed it was Mithra. I looked in the middle and saw a structure that looked somewhat as a doorway - "that must be it," I convinced myself. I looked around, a lot of red and purple demons - I rushed through with all of my speed and might towards this doorway, and upon reaching it, realized that the only zoning I was doing was back to my bind, courtesy of Fielath. Overcome with rage (yeah, or something like that), I drew my bow and shot Fielath in the back side. He decided to walk over and be taken to school, for I sliced him, diced him, and cut him into little bite-sized chunks. "ph33r m3," I shouted into my screen! I started to walk away, when I received a message. The following is a copied and pasted chatlog with commentary.
Rycroft sends, "thanks for taking that i was just getting to it"
- you and what army were just getting to it, Mr. Level 8?
You send, "<shrug> There's plenty to go around, and they respawn." to Rycroft
You send, "I'll just head to Mithra, have fun with your castle." to Rycroft
- not like the demon won't respawn in 30 seconds anyway.
Rycroft sends, "Nope...I'm Issuing A Complaint"
- Hi, I Am Rycroft. I Like Capital Letters.
Rycroft was just killed by Fielath!
You send, "He just kicked your butt, you couldn't have taken him anyway." to Rycroft
- why so owned, Rycroft? Go back to bats and rats.
You send, "Heh, do you have any idea what a waste of customer service time that is?" to Rycroft
Rycroft sends, "Could Have If It Wasnt For You Screwing My Timing... I Had His Guards Taken Out And You Took My Kill"
- and how many hours did you sit around in your mother's basement plotting the exact and precise timing of this kill?
You send, "Excuse me for my psychic sense not warning me of your timing." to Rycroft
Rycroft sends, "did you bother asking if anyone else was camping?"
- I apologize, you are right, forgive me. I should have ran laps around the castle, questioning everyone I found of exactly which of the 30-second spawns they were camping.
You send, "Every demon in there isn't marked "Property of Rycroft," you know." to Rycroft
You send, "Did I have to? No, there's plenty of spawns for everyone to share." to Rycroft
You send, "It's not my fault you're greedy - and hey, I decided to be nice and leave to Mithra. But no, you have to push the issue." to Rycroft
- did I mention the fact of what a -boring- life you must lead?
Rycroft sends, "I Was Camping For A Quest Purpose And You Were A Moron Who Walked Up And Barged In..."
- wait, wait. Did I walk in, or did I barge in? Can't really do both. Anyhow, you're right, I apologize - I should have let you sit there in peace and stare at the mob that you'll never be able to kill.
You send, "No, I walked in and pressed my autoattack button on a single creature out of many." to Rycroft
You send, "If you want to camp something, go buy EverQuest, they'll love you there." to Rycroft
- Xanath shouts, "Camp check." Rycroft shouts, "LOWER GUK!"
You send, "Your precious little creature respawned and kicked your butt, and you know it." to Rycroft
Rycroft sends, "Bought And Destroyed The Game"
- (flashback to Rycroft's past) THESE KIDS IN FREEPORT ARE SO MEAN, WHY DO THEY STEAL ALL OF MY BATS AND RATS?! WHY DID THE GM LAUGH AT ME? THIS GAME IS HORRIBLE, I'M GOING TO DESTROY IT!!
You send, "You ought to go back to it, you'd do well there, the GMs would love you." to Rycroft
- (as Rycroft) Aradune tells you, "Please, go back to DAoC, you're bringing down the IQ of our player base. :-/"
Rycroft sends, "You Broke The Rules...And As You Claim...My Waste Of Time Is In The Queue...If You Bother IM'in Me Again I Will Complain For Harassment Also"
- oh, and do you study law in your mother's basement too?
You send, "I am the one who walked away from you. You are provoking me. It is you who have harassed me. I have no more to say, other than that the only rules I've broken are the silly ones you have in your head. Goodnight." to Rycroft
Rycroft sends, "you just broke my request for you to halt ims...i am getting a GM"
- oh crap, I'm really in for it now. :-/
You send, "You provoked a response. Your request means nothing, it was a disrespectful request. Get a GM." to Rycroft
You send, "It's just a game, people play, people have fun. But no, there have to be people like you, who, when I walk away, have to taunt, harass, provoke, and threaten me with what is going to be a waste of customer service's time." to Rycroft
Rycroft sends, "You Have The Right To Cease Messaging Me...If You Do Not...I Have Recorded Every Such Message Since My Initial Request That You Halt Contact"
- something tells me that this guy has every episode ever made of Judge Judy and Cops recorded and memorized.
You send, "If you continue to act high and mighty, if you continue to provoke me, I will continue messaging you until the GM takes away my ability to chat." to Rycroft
Rycroft sends, "I Already Did...I Cant Hear A Further Message From You...Your Ignored =)"
- ruh roh, did someone get the mental snot beaten out of them? j3s! Run away, run away! Quick, ignore me, before your brain explodes from having to work too hard.
You send, "We'll let the GM solve it, goodnight." to Rycroft
You send, "By the way, you are a flaming homosexual moron with an obsessive tendency towards capital letters. I understand that it's probably due to the fact that you relate to the big letters, seeing as though they make you feel big even though you know that you're a reclusive, egotistically deprived old man, who weighs 600 pounds and lives in his mother's basement - but hey, that's okay to you, as long as you still have Judge Judy and Cops every night." to Rycroft
- hey, I'm ignored, what does it hurt?
I would ask that if any of you know Rycroft in real-life, please ship him a copy of EverQuest immediately. It's for his own good. :-o
This man is a serious threat to the realm of Albion. If you do not worship the ground he walks upon, he shall smite you mightily with big words and capital letters. If you dare question him, you shall be met with the fury of complaints he places into the GM's queue. Avoid him at all costs - he is detrimental to the life of your brain cells.
-Xanath
