I am Canadian (yeah... don't go getting offended btw)

[Varran]

I AM CANADIAN

(clears Thoat)

(the canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!)

Hey...

I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...

and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...

and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,

although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.

I speak English & French, NOT American.

and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.

I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.

DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,

AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOUQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,

AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!

CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!

THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!

I AM ITALIAN

Ciao...

I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.

I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.

And I don't drive a Camaro.

I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,

Although I'm certain they're very, very hairy people.

I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.

I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash.

And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.

I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.

Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies,

Antonio Columbro IS the best of the tenors,

And it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!

Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear,

The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!

My name is Guiseppe !!!

AND I AM ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM PAKISTANI

Allo,

I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.

I don't go to fleamarkets, or worship elephants, or eat with my hands.

And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle,

Although I'm certain they're very smelly people.

I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once a week,

I believe in discounts, not full price.

And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.

I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist siege.

A turban IS an article of clothing.

Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods

Curry is a VERY tasty dish,

and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!!

Pakistan IS a third world country,

The first nation of Cricket

And the BEST part of the middle east!!

My name is Raheem!

AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!!

I AM CHINESE!

Wai...

I'm not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.

I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a souped-up Civic.

And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddington Heights

Although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice people.

I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk.

I believe in giving cash, not gifts

And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.

I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre,

Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk

Jet Li can kick Van Damme's ass anyday.

And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fa Choi

China is the LARGEST country in Asia

The FIRST nation of PING-PONG,

And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!

My name is FUNG!!!

AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and finally........

I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...

I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.

And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well.

I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,

although I'm pretty sure they were American.

I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,

Guns settle disputes, not discussions.

Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,

And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.

Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,

Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,

I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,

The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,

And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!

MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,

AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

[Vidmer]

Its very hard to read the American one using the dark color scheme. Also to capture the real American spirit you should have made the text larger then all the others. Oh and added mudflaps. Then put bullseyes on all the rest

[Lola]

Bwahaha, those are great

[Torrid]

I knew we should have let the reds take over the rest of the world.

[Zarxen]

Hahaha

I like the Pakistan and the American ones the best. Funny stuff!

[Tarissa]

wow not funny!

[BurnemWizfyre]

Here let me rephrase the canadian one to be just as biased as the american one.

Im not fighter, or a lover and i dont care if other countries bomb us long as they claim it was accidental, i dont know jimmy, sally or suzy from canada but im sure they say Eh after every sentance.

I have Prime Minister, we call him a dumbass. I speak english and french, yet still no one gives a shit. and i pronounce it Ehh, not A

i can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack. I blieve in peace keeping, not getting upset when our neighbor accidentaly drops bombs on us. Skating is truly a sport (since its the only thing we can do in the olympics that wins us a medal) And that the beaver is truly something between a womans thigh.

Ice Hocky was not originally invented by us, Molsen is a beer. Canada is the largest waste of space in the world. The first nation to steal hockey and claim it as their own, And the 2nd worse part of North America. My name is Joe Eh?

[Zappo]

that reminds me,
didnt crim get lost while ice fishing?:\

[Torrid]

I think the real question is why anyone would be proud to wear a leaf on their backpack. Being an adult with a backpack while not camping or whatnot is bad enough.

[Subtle]

think they ment to say "Fanny-pack"

[Eomer]

Because Torrid, job #1 while travelling as a Canadian is to make it as clear as possible that you are NOT American. Since there is little else to distinguish us, you will find most 20-something Canadians have Maple Leafs on their backpacks for when they travel. You would not believe how much better people treat you.

Several of my friends have ran into "Canadians" while travelling in Asia or Europe, and soon discovered they were actually Americans under cover.

[Thuggo]

Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,

Well you got this right at least. If you aren't playing to win you shouldn't play at all.

So it's important to prominently display the maple leaf to show you are Canadian because there is not much to differentiate Americans and Canadians. So are Canadians as close-minded as Americans or is the rest of the world hateful of Americans based only on Nationality. But yet Americans and only Americans are the ones who aren't open-minded?

[Vestax]

lmao.. that was good! but you forgot " i am english" i have yellow teeth, our food sucks and our women`s life long ambition is too get pregnant at 16, live in a council house in North london!

[Zarwin]

our food sucks

I never understood this stereotype. I have always been quite fond of English cuisine.

[Tarissa]

shrug. if i travel i wouldn't have any problems saying i was american. perhaps people will change their minds about their opinion of 300 million people if they see i'm not really a shoot from the hip cowboy who loves mcdonalds.

i have never even worn a cowboy hat

[Gemmi]

The best part about food in England is the multitude of Indian take-away <..AEROS..>, the hot mustard <..AEROS..>, the proper mint sauce and <..AERO'S..> (YAY). English cuisine? Is a heart attack waiting to happen. Oh! I make excellent individual Yorkshire puddings and did I say I like Aeros?

[Gheltire]

This is obviously a propaganda attempt to prevent our use of double Big Mac coupons to bribe away Quebec.

[Eomer]

So it's important to prominently display the maple leaf to show you are Canadian because there is not much to differentiate Americans and Canadians. So are Canadians as close-minded as Americans or is the rest of the world hateful of Americans based only on Nationality. But yet Americans and only Americans are the ones who aren't open-minded?

Don't ask me man, all I know is that it's basically a tradition for Canadian travellers to have a Maple Leaf on their backpack. It's just how it is. I dunno why people in other countries treat us better, but it's true for the most part. People just think of Canada as some little bohunk country full of snow, beer, and hockey players. Nothing offensive about it, so they tend to be friendly with Canadians. We are known as shitty tippers though, apparently.

[Thuggo]

This is obviously a propaganda attempt to prevent our use of double Big Mac coupons to bribe away Quebec.

Fuck that. Let Canada support those fuckers, I don't want them as the 51st state.

[Forty]

"don't go getting offended btw"?

The whole point of this was to offend. And I am.

It's always easier to blame someone else, right?